


No Matter the Universe, the Song Remains the Same

by Liron_aria



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Gen, Temporary Character Death, y'all should be used to heartwrenching stuff from me by now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1973307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liron_aria/pseuds/Liron_aria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In another world, the angels take a more vested interest in the Winchesters’ lives to spur the coming Apocalypse, and insinuate themselves around the Winchesters, building up Dean and helping John, while tearing Sam down, and pushing him towards the demons. When Sam runs away to Stanford, Heaven and Hell send someone to keep an eye on him, in the form of Jessica Moore and Tyson Brady.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Matter the Universe, the Song Remains the Same

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. If I did, Sam would get a ton more screen time, meaningful relationships with other characters, and Jess. Jess would come back.
> 
> But that is neither here nor there, so please, sit back and enjoy!

In another world, the angels take a more vested interest in the Winchesters’ lives to spur the coming Apocalypse, and insinuate themselves around the Winchesters, building up Dean and helping John, while tearing Sam down, and pushing him towards the demons. When Sam runs away to Stanford, Heaven and Hell send someone to keep an eye on him, in the form of Jessica Moore and Tyson Brady.

Brady warms up to Sam right away, trying to keep him by his side, and Jess tries to watch him from a distance, unwilling to get too close to the Abomination. She’s just here to make sure he follows his destined path.

But it’s hard when she has almost all her classes with him, and she sees what a sweet, passionate,  _bright_ soul he is, how firmly he believes in good despite everything life has thrown his way. How can this be the Abomination, Lucifer’s Vessel, the Boy with Demon Blood?

She begins to doubt.

She begins to Fall.

And as Sam falls in love with Jess, Jess Falls and falls right back in love with him.

And once she’s free of Heaven’s chains, once she’s tasted the wonder of humanity, she tells Sam everything she knows _._ Sam can only bury his head in his hands and  _laugh_ because hadn’t he seen this coming? Hadn’t always known that he was a freak, something  _unclean,_ so how fitting that Heaven called him and abomination. He’d once hoped, that maybe he could be saved - what a fool he’d been.

And Hell laughs because they think Sam will finally break, that the angel played right into their plans, but Jess  _doesn’t let him,_ because Sam is good and bright and strong, and if anyone can beat destiny, it’s him. They cling to each other, even though they both think they are so undeserving, and Sam wonders how Jess can stand to touch him given everything he is, and Jess wonders how Sam can be so forgiving given everything she’s done.

And they ward their little house, they try to plan and find some way to beat the plans Heaven and Hell have for Sam, but how can they win with Heaven and Hell watching? Jess’ knowledge is their greatest weapon and she teaches it all to Sam. And when Dean comes, Jess send Sam on his way, because he’ll be stronger with his family at his side, even if he doesn’t believe it.

Sam comes home to find the salt lines broken and he screams for Jess, bolting to their room, only to find Jess pinned up on the ceiling, her stomach slit open and she’s burning, burning,  _burning -_

(“Go, Sam. I’m still an angel, I can protect myself.”)

(She must have lost more grace than they realized, must have become human, must not have been able to sense when the demons took another host, Sam should have been there to protect her, he failed her,  _he failed her,_ how can he go on -)

(Sam doesn’t know that it was an angel who came down and ripped Jess out of her vessel and broke Sam’s protections to set up the scene that would fuel Sam’s rage and hate.)

A year later, Sam’s hands shake, but his aim remains true when he fires the Colt at his father’s body. John smiles up at him gratefully and Sam thinks -  _prays, hopes -_ that he’s finally done something right, that his family’s finally free of their curse.

He chokes on the despair welling up in him when he wakes up in a hospital and Dean won’t look him in the eye.

Sam spends the next year frantically trying to break Dean’s deal and reading up on how to stop the looming apocalypse. Jess told him they wanted a Winchester in Hell; it was meant to be his father, but now it’ll be Dean, but Dean won’t break, he has to believe that, Dean won’t break because  _he won’t let them take Dean -_

He fails again.

Ruby comes to him with the promise of help and salvation and a team of special children, just like him. And demon blood is disgusting, but it gets the job done, and they’ve never saved so many lives hurt by demons before.

Four months after Sam buried Dean, Jake and Ava hold down a six-foot tall man with close-cropped brown hair and green eyes while Sam presses a silver knife against his throat, eyes hard and unforgiving, because the supernatural world should have learned by now that the fastest way to sign their own death warrant is to use Dean against Sam.

Four minutes later, the world’s shifted out from under Sam’s feet again, and Jess’ warnings are ringing in Sam’s ears even as he clings to Dean for dear life. He saves Pamela from getting too close to Castiel, and when Dean demands how he knew, he points out that he’d searched for a lot of different creatures to try and get Dean out.

(It’s only partially true, but he never got around to telling Dean that Jess was an angel, not with Heaven and Hell’s eyes on them. And with the angels making themselves known now, he can’t risk bringing down their wrath and putting Dean in the crossfire.)

Everything’s fine until he finally meets Castiel and sees a tall blonde angel standing beside him.

It’s Jess.

His Jess.

(Ansiel, her true name was.)

Ansiel looks at him with hard, cold eyes, and leaves without a word. Sam bolts after her, forgetting Dean, forgetting Castiel, only to hear  _again_ that he’s an abomination, that he will never be more than the taint in his blood, that he had better play his part or the angels would come after his friends and take Dean away from him.

That Ansiel’s disgusted by him, that she never loved him, that he wasn’t worth Falling for.

He knows that, of course, but that doesn’t stop him from sinking to his knees, tears rolling down his face, after Jess -  _Ansiel_ \- disappears with the soft sound of wings.

He goes back and tells Ruby and Jake and Ava and the others the truth, that Heaven and Hell are coordinating the Apocalypse, that they have a price on their head if they step out of line - not that they don’t have one anyway - and that Dean’s too close under the watch of angels to risk pulling him away yet.

Until he meets Anna, all he feels is alone and desperate as Dean pulls further and further away from him, and closer to the angels. Dean knows Sam’s always been the freak, the wrong one, but he loved him despite that. Doesn’t Sam owe him some gratitude for that? He went to Hell for the kid, but he’d rather spend his time with Ruby and the demon-infected crew instead.

Sam asks Anna if she can hear Ansiel, and Anna tells him Ansiel dislikes him the most out of all the angels she can hear. It makes sense, Sam supposes. Anna Fell because she was in love with humanity. Ansiel Fell because she got too close to Sam.

He really is an abomination, dragging one of the Heavenly Host into the mud beside him.

(When Anna gets her grace back, Ansiel is the first angel she seeks out. She can see it Ansiel, hear how slightly out of sync she is with the rest of the Host. Ansiel may have been rehabilitated, but at her core, she is still in love with Sam Winchester. She’s still on the edge of Falling.)

The looming Apocalypse grows closer no matter what Sam does, and he loses everyone but Jake and Ava and Ruby, and still finds himself with a voicemail of Dean calling him a monster as he stands outside a convent. When Lilith asks for a truce, it takes less than a minute for Sam to realize she’s the last Seal, the Apocalypse comes to a screeching halt when Jake holds Ruby down as Sam kills her.

(He agreed to help Sam, to save people. He didn’t sign on for Lucifer.)

And then Ava slides a blade into Jake’s heart and burns herself out killing Lilith.

Dean bursts through the doors as light floods the room, and Lucifer rises.

Heaven and Hell rejoice and somewhere in the back of his mind, Sam screams in grief that no matter what he did, he couldn’t avert his fate. He’s ready for Lucifer when he comes, armed with what warding he learned from Jess and the steadfast refusal to give in to the Devil. Dean’s long gone, furious at him for never telling him about Ansiel and the apocalypse and Sam let him go.

He doesn’t deserve a brother like Dean, never has. If he dies fending off Lucifer, at least he’ll do something right with his life.

(Lucifer doesn’t let him die.)

Anna and Ansiel come back with a plan, and Sam is more than willing to erase himself from existence. What does he have left? What does he  _deserve_ to have left? Nothing.

It’s better this way.

And after Michael smites Anna, he turns to do the same to Ansiel, and then laughs when he sees her crouched over Sam’s body, frantically trying to heal him. Ansiel isn’t a threat anymore; she’ll never be able to harm his brother’s vessel. Lucifer will possess Sam and they will have their long-promised battle.

Paradise will return to Earth.

Ansiel Falls. Castiel Falls. But still, having an extra angel on Team Free Will makes a difference, saves Ellen and Jo and Gabriel (barely, with a lot of screaming and pleading involved, and while Gabriel might never return to full strength,  _at least he’s alive._ )

When Sam’s last night on Earth rolls around, he doesn’t spend it alone and filled with dread and regrets, he spends it in the arms of only woman he’s ever loved, burning her into his memory, holding on to the last of his saving grace.

They both know they’ll never see each other again.

Sam says yes.

Lucifer laughs and disappears, leaving Dean devastated and Ansiel on her knees.

(Sam burns and screams and feels like and insect scrabbling at glass as he tries to regain control.)

It takes Lucifer obliterating Ansiel -  _Jess Jess Jess Jess the only woman he’s ever loved, the only one who’s ever loved him back, seen past his taint and the sin in his blood_ \- for Sam to build his strength, clawing and screaming and grieving and loving until he gains enough control to stop Lucifer from killing Dean, too.

There’s nothing left for him on Earth, well and truly, and it’s time he paid for his sins.

Sam jumps, and drags Michael down with him.

The vaunted Apocalypse is over, five months after it began.

(The day Sam Winchester should have been getting his JD is the day he saves the world.)

Three hundred years of torture later, Sam finds himself standing in Stull Cemetery again, body healed and soul in tatters, but still holding on, still blazing bright and pure.

There’s a blonde-haired angel reaching out to him with a smile, and his life begins again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Please, let me know!
> 
> If anything in here stirs the need for discussion in you, shoot me a message. You can also find more of my thoughts on Sam Winchester here: http://queen-of-carven-stone.tumblr.com/tagged/Sam-Winchester
> 
> You can find more of my thoughts on Sam/Jess here: http://queen-of-carven-stone.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-take-me-back-to-the-start


End file.
